Brianna's journal

The following was written by Brianna Murphy: 

Thoughts from Namibia

Italics are from my journal the day of, regular font was added on afterwards

8-11-14 7:50 AM

In Swakopmund, Namibia

Jesse, Jessica, and I are at the beach with God, facing the Atlantic Ocean (If we went straight across Paul said we’d reach Rio de Janeiro, Brazil).

Anyway, thank you God for everything!!!!

Apologizing for my fear, my lack of faith in God’s strength, lack of focus in His power.

We have nothing to fear. 

God is with us.

God please comfort and protect Your children in Iraq, in Namibia, all over the world! Bring strength, courage, and peace to Your children.

Let us be filled with Your Spirit.  Let us be filled with Your light, love, peace, joy, and hope!  Dancing with You.  I pray others will see us and seek to dance with You too!

<3

Beautiful Daddy, we love You

Please help us to honor You

With every breath, every word, every move!

Your love is so incredible

We just want more MORE OF YOU

Let’s be jealous for each other

I just want/need You

Take me

Take all of me

Lord fill all of me w/You

“I will- it’s a process, but I’m doing it”..

I won’t say much about the Suiderhof Elementary School assembly...

In retrospect it is a funny story!!

The words I had in mind were something like “You can come up to the stage for candy if you answer some questions, and we’ll hand out flyers about the event.”  

In my journal I wrote:

It was My Fault for not being more careful with my words-

Paul came up and ended things on a good note.  Told the kids how they should turn to the person next to them and say (something like): You’re special, and then told them to look at their teachers and say “Thank you for all you do, you’re a great teacher”

The next assembly at All Nations Church ran smoother! 

Less kids, more organization, and we called kids- having them raise their hands and walk up who could answer our questions (when and where the Holiday kids club would be).

We did the “Baby Shark” song, and then the kids one-upped us by showing us we didn’t really know “Father Abraham” but they did!

8-13-14

Pastor Volker (from All Nations Church) left East Germany around WWII because he was “opposed to the War”. He claimed to be a pacifist and applied to move to Johannesburg and they accepted his application within a month.  He met his wife, Esther there and they moved to Namibia in the 1970s and never looked back.  They helped support the move for Namibia’s independence (peacefully)! So cool!!!—

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The kids at the orphanage were amazing.  I think afterwards when I had more time to think about/miss them is when I felt heartbroken.

We blew bubbles with them (they LOVED this), sang “Father Abraham” correctly this time, “Baby Shark”, and a Bee song this lady Veronica (daughter of the couple that founded the orphanage) led us into.  We did face painting with our fingers for ALL the kids and some of the adults. We gave away toys, clothes, and shoes. 

God bless these kids w/Your peace, love, and protection

Protect the orphanage from any danger- malevolent intentions- NO MORE destruction in Jesus’ name!!!

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Went to the Katatura hospital, and prayed for the 4^th floor – oh- it was so good—Everyone who was awake and spoke English seemed to want prayer, and so we prayed for all these men (and Lauren’s group also for nurses).

Jeff, Elisa, and I were together- Paul, Jesse, and Lauren were the other group.  Jessica wasn’t feeling well and stayed back with Auguste at the church – and her baby, Immanuel, and bonded with them

Prayers:

Jerry God bless his family with restoration and provision and give Jerry a house and the finances/job to live there.  Bring the family cohesion in Jesus’s name. – Love, and peace, thank you!

-Peter- heal his leg if willing, NOW (-pain from car accident in 2002)!!! Thank you.  Take away all pain, bring restoration in Jesus’s name. Thank you.  Bring 100% mobility, 0% pain- Total transformation, strength, fully functioning ability in that right femur and all over his body.  Lord bless his relationship with You, Build that up, give him joy, confidence, and peace, hope, and faith in You!!!

Simon, Lord Heal Him QUICKLY from his stab wounds- Take away any pain, any inflammation, the brokenness in his skin, tendons, bones, muscles, heart, mind, and soul.  Completely restore Him in all aspects!!! Bless Him with a knowledge and comfort of YOUR LOVE, CONCERN for him, PROTECT Him W/YOUR ANGELS for the Rest of His Life.  Let him know it is YOUR Hand in His life- and for Him to give glory and thanks.  Heal him, give him an understanding of your purpose for him.  Thanks God.

Lord, thanks for Stanley, he is awesome.  (Met him first outside the elevator went up to 4^th floor and then prayed for him when we got out)

Anyway, Stanley tripped/stepped onto a rock of some sort, and was recovering from a broken foot.  Heal that foot QUICKLY + amazingly- PERFECTLY- take away any + all pain in his body-

He is SO OPEN + on fire for YOU God- Said he doesn’t talk to you all the time- sometimes-, + doesn’t go to church much but wants to more.  He asked if I had a “book” and I gave him the message from All Nations Church from this last Sunday’s service- he said he wants to go to church- + made it sound like he specifically would start coming to All Nations- (The Church’s address was on the back of the papers I gave him)

When Jeff and I came up to him in his hospital bed later he said all these things, + after I handed him the only “book-like” thing I had, Sunday’s message, he became animated, + joked about how he was so lucky, privileged to be the one to get my only “book”- since he’s the only one who asked for one- And said maybe he injured himself because we were supposed to talk to him-

I replied that “Yea, maybe. And maybe you are here to pray for and talk about God to people we weren’t able to reach..

After Jeff, Elisa, and I had gone around praying for everyone on our side of the 4^th floor we met back up with the other three.  We were surprised to see Stanley on his crutches, going around with them.  He was talking to the patients; helping tell Paul, Jesse, and Lauren what they needed specific prayers for.

9-1-14

Walking on Sand Dunes

Sometimes life feels like it should be an uphill climb on solid ground, and it turns out to be a little more unstable than you were expecting. Sort of like walking on a sand dune (If you can't picture that, then imagine running up a mountain made of marbles, or going through a shallow lake with an uphill slope).  Things aren't always what you expect, I know that.  You might as well expect the unexpected.

The journey is what you make of it, as cliche as that sounds.. You can give up and say it's too hard, frustrating, strange.. you can complain and go forward, or you can take the experiences for what they are.. Unique and worthy challenges..  Have faith and persevere on.. Find the process exhilarating, the progress encouraging (and EVERY STEP FORWARD IS PROGRESS). Every step is hard some days.  But it's still taking you where you need to go.. Don't ever look down on your self, your steps for not being "enough" that you should have been able to take more.  Do what you can and keep going.. but don't be so impatient you hurry yourself out of appreciating and living in the experience.

Africa was full of lessons, and amazing experiences..

Now that I've been back.. I've had some more.. lessons.

"The greatest lie the enemy would have us believe is that we're incapable of living in the presence of God. But the answer for every solution is living in the presence of God." -Chris Newton

And just experiences that I'm still trying to process.  Thursday I was committed to trying to show up for church even though I might miss it due to work.. I was going to go.. I didn't want to miss Aimee and Shailesh's last night, and also I wanted to/was asked to speak about Africa!

So I went into work early.. got to church right at 7 (on time)!  Then I leave right before everyone went up to speak about Africa because a friend's family member needed a ride..  I came back to hear Aimee.. and realized I missed my chance to speak.

I felt defeated in that once more, it appeared like I wasn't taking responsibility, wasn't visible, wasn't connected and sharing to the people I wanted to be involved with... People that encourage me.. I wanted to be the encourager.. be real and yet positive.. and I felt negative in that moment.. and laughed at the irony of how me missing speaking fit in with what I was going to speak on: God's plans are different than ours.  Be open to God's spontaneity for/in your life, and be flexible with it.  I saw plans change and things be unlike how I expected so many times in Africa. 

9-20-14

It’s been a month since I’ve been back from Africa.  I expected to journal more in depth about it.  Kept putting it off due to homework, seeing friends, doing paperwork for my new job. 

So I was so grateful to read Jesse’s 16-page playback of the trip, two days ago.  

It’s much better organized, detailed, and yet concise than my 27 ½ journal pages about the trip.

Some things I would like to say:

Thank you God of course for putting this on my heart.  I started thinking about Africa back in late 2006.  I wanted to spend half or a full school year in South Africa (2007-2008).  The rotary club in my area didn’t give anywhere in Africa as an option, so I just let the dream go. 

When Lauren mentioned the upcoming trip I was interested right away, but shrugged off the idea that I should go with “I probably shouldn’t go.  I feel like I still have a ways to grow spiritually, and I am too excited.  It’s probably more me that wants me to go than God”.  I really was making excuses and yet I still wanted to find out more about it, and talked with Lauren.  She encouraged me both in prayer and in going and I felt a nudge in prayers that “Yes, you should go”. 

I have traveled to more places than most people have, and recently last year told myself I would not be going anywhere major (out-of-state) for a few years.  I LOVE people, and yet the more I travel, the more I realize how more alike we are across the planet, than different.  I didn’t have the money (or future income) to do this trip without being absolutely broke coming back.  But I took the chance I could have to pay for it and have no money coming back. I took that leap of faith easily after I had committed to the spiritual, mental and emotional aspect of that yes God would like me to go to Africa; and it would be my privilege to be a part of His workings in Namibia.

We did fundraising for this trip, and had everything paid for.  The body- friends, family, church members, random people, contributed for us individually and as a group.  A big shout-out to Lance and Nakeisha Thrash for backing us with love.. Nakeisha’s African meal and awesome baked goods she donated to the bake sale!!!!

Thank you to the Coolidges, to Jeff and Joann Street for talking with us about Paul and Auguste, and your stories of Namibia.  They helped us prepare emotionally, spiritually, and mentally and also know what to pack.

Thank you Two Rivers Church for sponsoring us! J

I could go on for PAGES about all the LOVELY WONDERFUL people in Namibia, but will suffice it to say I love you all!  Thank you all for just being beautiful people, I’m so glad to know I have other family members in Christ there and see what God’s doing in your lives!!!

Pastor Volker- thanks for having us come to your church and taking me and the guys to the airport and dealing with all the confusion there!!  J

All the ladies we spent time with.. You are all so beautiful…  I wish we had more time to get to know each other.. and hope we will stay in touch, see each other again!

Paul, Auguste, and Immanuel.. I love you!!!  I miss you.. I am so happy that we had the chance to spend a week together in Namibia.  That time meant the world to me..  Seeing what you’re doing, what your dreams are.. How God brought you to where you’re at and where He’s taking you.. 

Paul, you are so devoted and passionate!  Such a powerhouse of spreading God’s purpose to others’ lives.  Auguste, you are so fearless and sweet and funny!!  Together, you two are such a fantastic duo of sharing God, His love and will for those in your lives!!!  Thank you so much for taking us Americans under your wings, for welcoming us to your country!  God is blessing others through you!!!  I hope He was able to bless you through us..!  Immanuel Ezra is amazing by the way.  I don’t have a lot of experience with babies being the youngest in my family, and none of my close friends have babies yet.. He is one cool baby though.  Super happy, sociable, and laid-back.  Got the best from both parents probably J  I pray that he is strong and a warrior for the Lord as he grows older.  I am really excited to see who he grows up to be! 

People reading this, please pray for the Streets- for spiritual, emotional, mental, and financial support!  If it is put on your heart to support the Streets financially please go to http://2riverschurch.org/get-involved/give-online/ and in the purpose field write something like “Paul Street Namibia”.  Bless them with a prayer, a dollar, or a message if you know their email/are connected on Facebook.  They are in charge of the youth ministry at All Nations Church in Windhoek. Pray for that if you can’t think of anything.  Pray that young men will rise up and be leaders in the Lord alongside the women.  Pray for the kids that are growing up that they will retain their relationship with God, and not fall away or be closed off from Christianity because it is “not cool”.  Pray that either being Christian becomes cool, or that they just will stand up against those who say otherwise..

Or: Pray for boldness, passion/joy in the Lord, God’s Holy Spirit to flow through Windhoek and for Christians to be on fire for God, to not be afraid or timid about sharing God’s love- reaching out to others.  Pray for a strengthening in the body of Christ, the church. For people to look at who God is, not who they are.. and with faith to allow God to do anything and everything He wants through the church, the Body of Christ as a whole.  It is not about us individually and what we are doing for God. It is about what He is doing through ALL OF US, His bigger picture..!  Faith in God is very strong at All Nations.  Pray for miracles, for an outpouring of God’s love, hope, and joy.  God’s blessings of favor and protection!!

Lastly thank you to the team:

Lauren thank you for sharing your dream with us!  You have been such a blessing to my life.  From getting to observe the OT at your work to being an amazing friend despite your own struggles, to actually being real about your struggles (in an African church sermon of all places)!  I have trouble thinking God can use me when I am not in my “best form”.. feel I should improve, clear up the messes in order for Him to really move through me.  Your act of going to Africa and leading this trip despite your struggle with anxiety is a kick to that lie. A huge one.  It is still something I am learning to accept and grow in but yes thank you so much for being an example, a beautiful friend, and letting God do something amazing through yours and His heart with this Namibia trip!

Jesse, thank you for coleading!! For your calmness, your organizational skills, confidence, God-given musical guitar-singing-drum playing abilities lol.  I was shocked at how you picked up driving the van on the left-side of the road as “no big deal” and were a natural at it (even if you have done it in Ireland with Terri).  Everything seemed done out of love, never obligation.  Even though you were feeling sick some days you never lost your positive attitude. How?

Jessica, you and I were the newest member of Two Rivers.. And wow you rocked this trip!  From teaching Africans to dance AZ two-step, to preaching and singing in church, to just being a friend to many, and helping out wherever needed- you are awesome!!  I am so glad you went despite the naysayers.. and so happy to see how comfortable you were there and how you would love to return soon.

Jeff you were the quiet one some moments and the comedy relief others.  I felt like I knew you the least, and still feel that way and talked your ear off maybe assuming I would be able to get more out of you on the plane rides back to AZ.  You were amazing leading the prayers with Severin and at the end of the VBS with the altar call! God’s going to continue to do really cool things through you, and everyone from this trip really..

Elisa you are so connected with God that his light and love radiate out of you.  It is amazing how His beauty shines out through your words and actions.  You and Jesse were definitely the encouragers of the group to not worry.. and let God do his thing.  Thanks girl for being on this trip and always having a heart-to-heart connection with God and people- and thus being a great example to us all on the trip and in life in general!

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Everyone.. I saw a maturity in Christ either develop or what was already there.. that was so exciting for me!!!  I being the youngest, felt totally fine with having the backseat in this trip..  Felt God wasn’t asking specific leadership roles from me.  I probably would have felt uncomfortable with not carrying enough of the responsibility if it weren’t for me being busy with summer classes right up until we left, and I just really wasn’t able to think that with how smoothly things came together.  As Jesse said, we all got along, and contributed in our own ways…

Short-term missions are amazing.. or at least this one was (the only other two I went on were to Tiajuana and LA’s Dream Center years ago).  We are first called to love God and love people.  Then, to make disciples of all groups of people.. We don’t have to go overseas to do this.  Can start with friends, family, neighbors, refugees, international students, etc. We are called to be faithful and stand tall with Christ in all circumstances.  I think this mission experience will provide insight and support for when it isn’t always easy to walk with Christ.  God is the great encourager through His son and through the Holy Spirit. 

We have nothing to fear- God is with us!!

<3 and God bless!!!

Brianna